Multitasking is Not for Geezers

Today I got out of bed, grabbed my nightgown and dragged it along with my oxygen line closed our bedroom windows so I could turn on the heat for the rest of the house and tried to QUIETLY leave the room. I forgot my shoes. These are necessary since one of my legs is longer than the other after hip surgery. Oh, and I was born with cold feet. I closed the door to the approximate size of a small, white dog and made my escape, still dragging the line and nightie behind me.

I wrapped the oxygen line around it's mother ship and threw that granny gown over my head. Ready to rock. Unfortunately, Grover joined me to demand a treat. He gets one for waking up. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this. The trick is that once Grover gets the treat, he goes back to bed with his Dad and I can sneak into the bedroom to get my shoes.

Most days I try to remember to turn on the coffee pot when I give Grover his treat because we are in the kitchen by then. I have finally learned that what folks call, multitasking does not work well for me. It's not that I don't try. Today I took a shower and arrived right on time for Price is Right. I had my outer clothing and socks in hand. I'd thought to leave the shoes by my chair. Other than that, I was an example of a 70+ year-old woman who was in the living room undressed and could possibly qualify as a minitasker.

During a commercial I went back to take my breathing meds and saw my earrings. I did use my meds and put one earring in. Then I put lotion on my face but ended up in the living room with the other earring in my hand and our bedsheets in my arms. I was doing stuff. This is my new term for multitasking. I put the sheets in the laundry sink because I discovered there were dark clothes in the washer. During the next commercial I went in search of more dark clothes. It should be noted that I'd been gone for almost a week but a woman should know these things.

If you are confused by now, you can only imagine my state of mind. I spent one week in the Great Valley and ended up more discombobulated than ever. Why? I'm a Netartian. I live in a VERY small TOWN and rarely go any other place. Routine is the savior of my life. I thrive on doing the same things day in and out because they make me competent. They make me capable. They make me clever and useful. When I go away from those things... I am not the same. I am easily confused.

What I learned in the Great Valley is that multitasking is not for the old. Multishopping is the worst. Going to more than one store on one day is bad. At home in Netarts, one store is enough for one week. Oh sure, I know a lot of you live in places where you go out several times a week to the other world but here, we tend to hide out. I don't know whether that is good or bad but I do know that it has a lot to do with how organized we aren't.

I have great admiration for all of you who multitask. Just today, I had a fist full of names and addresses for the burn pile which were confused with recyclables. Roh. Roh. As all of you know... this is not an easy fix. At least I still know the difference and have a limited ability to climb in that container and fix things. My rational self wonders what in the heck I'm thinking when it comes to identity theft. The ship sailed a long time ago.

On those days when I take a break in my recliner with a dirty bath towel, Halloween decoration and dental floss I wonder about you. Are you having this problem too? Please say yes because it's going to get a whole lot worse during the holidays. Multitasking? HA! Like those earrings, I'm a half-tasker at best. In fact, I think asking us to be on top of everything is just dumb.

Friends, we're old and not designed to be high powered machinery. Our parts are well used and some of them throw a fit if we try and use them too much. Ah yes, there will be comments from those of you who exercise daily and are truly fit. I encourage and envy you but can't compete. I was born different, as were several of us.

We can't all be multitaskers. We can't all be athletes. We can't all be organized. We can't all be clever. HOWEVER, with our life experience and love and humor we can be minitaskers... or in other words... ordinary, lovable folks who make mistakes every day but none of them really matter... xoxo