I Can't Find the "Planting Season"

So, here's the deal. According to Old Farmers Almanac and every other printed source about planting...the most of it should be done in Spring. What if you can't find Spring? What if it never showed up? What if it came in one night and left you with a bog?

I've been deeply troubled of late. I can't find Spring. We had a day that Mr. Weatherman said would be it...but that day was covered in drizzle. Then Mr. Weather said we'd have "summer temperatures"....WHAT? Where is the connection? In my growing-up years I was taught that Spring comes FIRST...and Summer comes after that. Then...FALL...wait? Didn't we just have that a few weeks ago?

I'm trying to be patient and kind about this weather stuff but truly...the past year has tried all my resources. As any of you who read this know, I have a special relationship with Mother Nature. Most of the time we do well together but it is clear that I have really ticked her off. It should be said that she might be my imaginary friend...but what has that to do with anything? She makes so many promises and I make so many requests.

As I write, there are streams of sweat rolling down my face. Why? I am an exhausted wimpy old person who does not believe the Weatherman or any of Mother's promises. Even though this day is dry, hot and beautiful, I'm a non-believer. I've been planting things in containers at the speed of a well-toned Sloth...running ahead of the storm.

Why? I finally know that my sources are not reliable. It's going to rain. Please don't insult me by calling it a "possibility of showers, intermittent showers, cloudy with showers, showers with clouds, rain, partial clearing, chance of rain and scattered showers." These things will not be allowed to stop me any longer. If I quit now...the garden will never make it. Not this year. It's a new era.

I had thought to plant a garden in Spring. You know, the kind in the ground...real ground. Not fake ground in pots. I wanted the one where some strong guy rottotills and rakes and tills and rakes until the dirt would make a chocolate cake. Yes...I'm that kind of woman. I want that.

Enter my confusion. We have had two days over 70 degrees...that would be the past two. With standing water in the garden. I have a hunch it will be awhile before any muscled dude tackles Shaffer Acres. I will admit that gives me something to look forward to but the real problem is that the man I want to see out there REALLY isn't ready for this duty. Why? He can't even mow the lawn because it's in the bog, too.

Geezer tribe men do not mow grass that is floating in water. They do not till mud. They never trim a shrub without something that is electric. They have a beer between breaks and they want to know why we are planting things so early in the year.

There you go. If I lose fifty percent of the planting team...I'll be in deep trouble. No arguments...the garden plot may dry before real 'summer' but I'm not sure. While that may sound encouraging, you have to read the seed packets for what you'll be planting.

Please note that most of the things you REALLY, REALLY WANT will take between 70 and 100 days to mature from seed. Whee! NOT. Since I am a stubborn woman, I have purchased plants for essentials and seed for those plants I can count on to come to me before this season ends. I love to watch them grow...and I love the gifts they provide. I love my hands in real dirt.

So...while we watch the swamp drain and hope for better days we are raising veggies and flowers in containers...because we can and it brings us great pleasure.

Is this what they mean by "SPRING"?

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