There's an Epidemic of Geezer Fever!

Well, here we are. It's almost what is called Spring... but I think they mean the kind on a bed. What spring? Where? I have five daffodils. That's it. Oh, wait, I have some small blue budded things too. I used to have a lot of spring flowers but they got confused because I dug them up and replanted them at the wrong time of the year. Why? Because I didn't think it would matter.

Let's get this over now. Planting times matter. To my great humiliation, I have summer flowers blooming in winter (calendula) and Hellebore blooming in May. My old friend Mother Nature is up there howling with delight. She just loves to watch me garden... or try to. Her favorite time of year to confuse me is right now. I have Geezer Fever and am very delicate.

There are many causes and symptoms of this disease and trust that I am going to try and help you through this mess. The first issue we have to address is windows. Hear me out. We have a lot of windows in our home which can become a real pain if you've got the bug. Geezers tend to leave windows in the same mess that dogs do. Oh, and cats are getting out of this either. You've all seen it... those nose prints and paw prints.

Preserved for the first window washing in spring... these are evidence of a tough winter. Let's say that you go to a friends house and the window on their door is covered in adult-sized nose, lips and hand prints. I could say you should run away but face it... few of our tribal members run. Our likely response would be to ring the doorbell and try not to laugh because they might have a camera photographing us.

You should go on in there for a visit because it could be a doozie. Maybe you're the first folks they've seen since Christmas. Geezer Fever is all about being confined and we seem to express this at different levels. The nose, lips and face thing is a sure sign of someone who needs to talk a lot or go to a mall. If they don't care about their windows... it's too late for other counseling.

If a friend calls and offers to give you a ride to their house... well, darn, there's a Fever clue. If they invite you for dinner more than one night in the same week, it's Fever. If it's snowing and they want you to come on over for a barbecue... you already know.

How do I know these things? I'm a collector of stories and seasoned veteran of Geezer Fever antics. I have to say that all my old friends have found something to do other than make nose prints on windows. However, if you haven't tried that on a frosty winter morning, I highly suggest it. Make a design, let it dry. You'll feel pretty funny... really. The cure for the Fever is activity of any kind. Apparently you can knit your way out of the blues. With that information in hand, you MUST be able to come up with something which fits your life.

One of the reasons I love living on the Oregon Coast is that our weather from one day to the next this time of year is brutal or it is absolutely beautiful. In the old days we used to go to Mexico in the Winter. What really mattered to us was each day in the sun. Most years that would have been twelve days, some years more or less. The idea was that we had this vacation to plan for all year long. It cured our Geezer Fever. Temporary cure.

Now? We count sunny days and find we have many of these beauties. Each one takes a big bite out of Geezer Fever... but only if you let it. Put a coat on. Yes... I know you don't want to do it but the simple act of walking outside in the sun will help cure you. You can even stand in the sun with your coat on. OK... I give. Put the danged recliner on the deck and sit in the sun.

This is why I'm not a doctor. I know my Tribe. If I nag you enough, you'll eventually get those old legs walking. However, I also know that there will be several of you who choose to put nose prints on your windows. Dang it, I already know there will be men who put lipstick lips and make big smudges on their windows. Don't think I don't know who you are.

See? Geezer Fever affects each of us in a different way. Thanks to all of you who use these months to make good things happen. To all of you with dirty windows... call me. :)

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