Words About Our Words

We have many subjects to cover this week and most of them have to do with medicines and health care for humans and pets. WAIT...don't stop reading yet. I am hoping to help you to find the humor in all of the “stuff” we have to do every day to stay alive. Of course you have to treat yourself if you plan to help your pet.

Last week I visited my Mom because her beloved English Bulldog, (my sister Petula) had an emergency surgery on Sunday. While this would be hard on a was particularly hard on an aged, indulged Bully, who has known only the home she rules.

We brought her home from the veterinary hospital on Monday because the vet felt she'd be better at home. With her, they sent six different prescriptions. Food, no food, half hour before and after, etc. My current belief is that they didn't want to do this medication regime either. With great optimism, Mom even bought a 'pill popper.' This might work on Grover...but not Petula.

We were advised not to give her any treats. With pill pockets and other known enhancements in the past, we started with tuna. After all three of us smelled like fish we tried mayonnaise. That worked once. We tried cheese and salami. Nope. Peanut butter? Ha! Enter the ex-RN, also known as my mother. Pills were summarily shoved down the dog's throat as those first days went by.

Day three I went out for hot dogs. Turns out that this was very good for us because my Mom and I had them for dinner. Petula? She threw the pill out of those dogs and right back out on that bulldog tongue. Weary of sheer force, my clever Mom discovered that cream cheese was a winner and she devised a plan to use fake and real globs of this lovely white substance for the remaining meds.

Day four brought me home to Mr. S, who is currently required to take his blood pressure every day. Does he like this? Nope. Does he have to do it? Yup. Otherwise the VA will take a dim view of his participation in his own well as his in-home nursing staff...that would be me.

We have been doing this blood pressure thing for two weeks. There is a space on the form for comments. Of course I had to start making them because I am compelled to write in empty space. I wrote things like “watching 'Price is Right' and yelling at contestants.” Who knew he would continue this while I was gone? I got home from the Great Valley to read things like, “wife gone, watching porn, cleaning gun, watering pot plants.”

At the end of this eventful week I can tell you that Petula is doing great and has returned to her normal self...or as much as is possible for an old girlbull with a recent splenectomy. Though resistant...she took the pills and got well.

I can say the same of Mr. S. I make up his pills every two weeks. One set morning. One set night. Though resistant, he takes his pills well. I am so glad I don't have to shove them down his throat. He knows that he has to do this blood pressure thing to stay popular with this health care provider and his wife, Nurse Ratchet. Does he care? Not really. He believes he is bullet proof. He has a nurse.

As the leader of the Geezer Tribe I think I should say something clever or educational. We all have the very same set of problems. WAIT...with exception of Mr. S. Anybody? xoxo

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